I am going to gripe!

 This is not Todd's car, but looks like it, and yes it is in the shop again.

So I am going to Grip and have a pity party for a little bit. Not that I believe that I deserve to be able to gripe, my life is pretty good, or that there aren't people out there that have it so much worse then me, but hey I am hormonal and haven't had good sleep for a couple of weeks so I'm grumpy. Anyway, Todd's Car broke down a about a week and a half ago. It was unfortunately kind of our fault, the unfortunate part being that we can't blame it on the mechanic. Anyway it was completely  dead at one point, and we towed it over to the mechanics after hours and just left it there to call them the next day. When calling them, they said, "well we don't do under the hood repairs, but we will get it running for you." OK I can deal with that. They called a little later, I went and got it and took it to a different mechanic, which I don't know and by the way we haven't had any luck with mechanic besides our one in Provo and our car wasn't going to make it there, and this one was no exception. We finally got a call about 6 hours later and said it was good to go. We were happy, because the whole thing only cost us about $57. Much better then normal, and I was a happy camper because I had a car again. Todd drove to work the next morning, but I had to go pick him up from Provo that afternoon from our Mechanics there. He had to cripple it over there, what would have been a 15 minute drive took him almost an hour. Who knows when we will get it back or how much it will be. Doug was very busy and said he would get to it when he could.  CARS, I DISLIKE LIKE YOU WITH A PASSION!  But that is not really where my gripping comes in yet. We went to what was suppose to be a great car sale in Nephi, because we thought hey if we can get a more reliable car that would be great, but to get the deals we would have had to have gotten there a lot sooner in the day. So we sat through, instead about an hour of talking by the sales guy of why we should buy a new car, and how it was better to spend the money ( that we don't have), then be without a reliable car. Yeah what ever, we don't live that way. We are trying hard to live within our means. So now we come to the gripping and pity party.

Remember, I am hormonal and tired, so I don't always talk rational. Todd and I do pretty good financially or so the stats tell us and probably make more then 75% of the world. Yet we feel like we still struggle. We have a small house and a fairly small mortgage, only have one small car payment, student loans, and a little debt besides, that is almost paid off. The rest is daily living expense. We have no flexible room in his set take home pay for anything else, like a clothing fund, entertainment fund, car fund, etc... Now we don't usually have to just live on his set pay check, he has had plenty of overtime since working at his current job, but we refuse to add anything to our monthly budget that we can't pay for, on his set pay. OT is never guaranteed. This is a smart way to live, right? If we do better then a lot of people and some of those I know we do better then, but they all have bigger houses, nicer cars, and toys. So in my tantrum of sleep deprivation, I cry and I wonder how everyone does it, how they have a house that fits their family or to big, cars that are reliable, and money to have toys and go on vacation. Is it priorities, do they have some dream money making job that is secure and amazing, or is everyone else living like crazy on borrowed money. I hope that it is the last one, because then I can  work my emotions through it. I don't ever want to live any worse in debt then I already am, been there, done that, and have dug ourselves back out.  I am not trying to judge others out there, I am just being a little envious. I want to know the secret to great budgeting if that is what I am lacking, and I  would love a house that fit my family better, and cars that don't break down, and to go on some vacations once in awhile and not worry about the cost, and I want a 4-wheeler, (I know random). Normally when I'm not hormonal, and tired and my cars are working, I can think this all through rationly, and realize that I have 5 beautiful kids, a home to shelter me, plenty of food to eat (I'm certainly not starving), 2 cars, An amazing husband, a small home, but that means a small mortgage (which when asked I'd rather have a small home then a much bigger mortgage, my kids are going to move away someday and then the house will be just perfect for Todd and I), a wonderful city that I live in and the gospel in my life. Life really is good, but every once in while it gets over whelming and it seems unfair and horrible.

Enough said, gripping is done until the next time.